Where’s Kim Jong-Un?

Where's Kim Jong-Un?

There! No wait… that’s a fat chihuahua.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Regarding league tables

“The State set up a machinery of examination both in Science and Art and for the elementary schools; and payments, known technically as grants, were made in accordance with the examination results attained, to such schools as Providence might see fit to send into the world. In this way it was felt the Demand would be established that would, according to the beliefs of that time, inevitably ensure the Supply. An industry of “Grant earning” was created, and this would give education as a necessary by-product.

In the end this belief was found to need qualification, but Grant-earning was still in full activity when I was a small boy. So far as the Science and Art Department and my father are concerned, the task of examination was entrusted to eminent scientific men, for the most part quite unaccustomed to teaching. You see, if they also were teaching similar classes to those they examined, it was feared that injustice might be done. Year after year these eminent persons set questions and employed subordinates to read and mark the increasing thousands of answers that ensued, and having no doubt the national ideal of fairness well developed in their minds, they were careful each year to re-read the preceding papers before composing the current one, in order to see what it was usual to ask. As a result of this, in the course of a few years the recurrence and permutation of questions became almost calculable, and since the practical object of the teaching was to teach people not science, but how to write answers to these questions, the industry of Grant-earning assumed a form easily distinguished from any kind of genuine education whatever. ”

H.G. Wells
The New Machiavelli
(Published 1911)

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Doo De Doo Doo Doo, say office tossers

Doo de doo doo doo, according to office tossers around the country today.

“La da dah dah dah, dah dee do dah dah dah do” said Marcus Dylan, an administrative twat from Staines, echoing similar calls across the country. The message comes at a time when other assistant halfwits are saying “hmm hmm hmmm hm hmmmm hm, hmmmm hm hmmm hm hmmmmm, baba bah bah bahdapbah”, despite widespread warnings of the dangers of excessive bellendery.

Regional pisswick Paul Hampton agreed. “La la lalalala, la da la la laa”, he explained, adding a series of sharp, tuneless exhalations, as his general inanity was echoed by designated office arseholes everywhere.

Ordinary grown up humans declined to comment.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized