Tag Archives: persona

In Which I Talk About Depression

Content notice: Depression, self-harm, suicide, abuse.

Irrelevant as it may seem, depression is a topic that has floated around the video game circles I lurk in for a while now, but never broken the surface for long. I don’t have anything half as beautiful as Jenn Frank’s piece on death, but there is a lot I could say about my own experiences. So:

Depression is Shit and I Hate it.

I may live on until
I long for this time
In which I am so unhappy,
And remember it fondly.

—Fujiwara No Kiyosuke, I May Live On
Translated by Kenneth Rexroth

I was 19 the first time someone said “I love you”. I didn’t ask “what about your husband?”; I asked “why?”.

It wasn’t some vain attempt to fish for compliments. I honestly couldn’t get my head around the concept. She’d spent weeks being nice to me, even in front of other people, and until we kissed I had honestly assumed she was taking the piss.

It was that bad once.

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Filed under Personal